A long time ago, when Kolkata was still Calcutta, there was this Steven Soderbergh film called Sex, Lies and Videotapes that showcased in one of the city’s movie theatre as part of a film festival.
Needless to say, the movie had the largest number of ‘film connoisseurs’ clamouring to get into the screening area. And not surprisingly, many were thoroughly disappointed when they realised that the movie didn’t have as much sex as its title promised – so much so, that the authorities had a mini riot at their hands.
Well, this post is similar. So, if you’re really looking for smut, look elsewhere, but not before you admit that sex sells. Yes, you can say that this was a cheap gimmick, but then, admit it, you were more than a little curious to see what this post is about.
Anyway, what I’m really talking about is how almost anyone can make money on the Internet – all the more, if they’re ready to look the other way whenever they see anything that resembles a conscience.
Yes, that’s right, this post about a few unsavoury ways to make money on the World Wide Web!
Now I’m sure you must have come across some of these ideas (I can’t possibly be the only one who looks out for these ‘Get rich fast, nice and easy’ schemes). But what the heck? Since you’re here, you might as well read on. Who knows? If your conscience is dead enough, you might very well be the next Internet millionaire.
Sell your soul and then a whole load of other things
Selling on the Internet is easier than you think. Ask Simon Holland!
Back in 2003, Holland, a 46-year-old living in Wisconsin Rapids, USA, noticed a french fry in his order that he thought was the longest he had ever seen. Now instead of eating it, this man took the sliver home and got it measured.
After he confirmed that the fry was really longer than average (it measured 6 3/4 inches), he promptly put it up for sale on eBay as the longest french fry ever. So much for tall claims (or should we say long?)
Did this pay off? Hell yes, it did. Some poor sod purchased that sliver of starch for over $202.50!
Since then there have been others trying to peddle longer fries, but Holland goes down in auction history books as the one who sold the most expensive fry in the world.
In fact, people will buy anything. Don’t believe me? How’d you explain someone buying what they thought was chewing gum spat out by Britney Spears?
In August 2004, eBay saw many instances of people selling chewing gum that they said was masticated by Ms Spears. Over ten thousand people logged in to get a glimpse of those pieces.
Each piece of gum came with its own story, of course. One guy claims to have collected the gum from her concert in Canada where she spat it at him from the stage. Yet another claimed to get his at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas where he saw it fall out of her mouth – while yet another got his piece from MTV’s Video Music Awards – an event that Britney didn’t even attend!
Did anyone fall for these scams? Well yes, some idiot picked up a piece for £140.
Besides, these there are those that have sold their foreheads, cleavages and even pregnant bellies as advertising billboards. Then there is this one case where this woman has even sold her deceased father’s ghost. No kidding!
Domain Squatting
So may be you’re not into petty crime and you’re really looking for something better. I’d suggest you try Domain Squatting. Now with domain squatting you’re not really doing something wrong (It’s a good thing to try and convince yourself like this from time to time). You’re legally buying domain names on the Internet (Soon even the strongest of inner voices will be silenced if you convince yourself well enough) – so what if the domain you just bought is actually microsoft.com!
And then, you’re a reasonable person. If Microsoft really wants that domain, you’re open to selling, provided you make a tidy little profit (There’s nothing wrong in it, really). Its just plain and simple commerce: if they want what you got, they pay you your price. What say?
As a matter of fact, back in 1998, two Texas men actually registered the domain names ‘microsoftwindows.com’ and ‘microsoftoffice.com’.
Good catch as far as domain squatting goes – only problem was that they took on the wrong company. If they were intelligent enough they could have taken on lesser-known companies that were willing to buy. Microsoft—cheapskates that they are—took both the chaps K K Karr and K Brewer to court.
But not all stories of domain squatting end with lawsuits. There are also those that will go down in the annals of domain squatting as the most successful deals ever.
‘wallstreet.com’ and ‘linux.com’ were sold for more than $1 million! ‘altavista.com’ was sold to Compaq Computer for $3.35 million! And the best part, each of the domains was originally registered for just $70! Now where else can you make easy money such as this?
Also, in 1998, an American paid $20,000 to a domain squatter for the domain name ‘madonna.com’.
Now it’s a different story that the purchaser of the said domain then went on to host a porn site on it, which ultimately resulted in a claim from the ‘Material Girl’.
Madonna took up the case with the UN World Intellectual Property Organisation (WIPO) and got the domain reassigned to herself.
But, come on; it is a good idea, isn’t it? After all some people did make money out of it.
Domain squatting is so lucrative that I’m not surprised that governments and law enforcing bodies—spoilsports that they are—put a cap on it.
US Congress has passed a bill that allows trademark owners to claim damages wherever they can prove that a trademarked name was fraudulently registered by a person with the sole intent of unfair profits from its sale.
Still, domain squatting is a nice way to making quick bucks. Just make sure you stay away from the long arm of the law. And please, pick up companies that you know will negotiate with a scum like you. The last thing you want is a lawsuit slapped on your face and the view from behind bars.
Nigerian Scammers a.k.a. the 419ers
But if you’re not too squeamish about spending some quality time as a state guest in quality resorts such as Tihar and Yerwada, I think you could also consider the modus operandi of the 419ers.
The 419ers get their name from the Nigerian law for what is commonly called as the advanced fee fraud – or the Nigerian Scam.
The fraud usually starts with the victim getting an email informing that the sender has this huge amount of money that he needs to transfer out of his country to save it from some evil dictator or the other (now the reason why these guys need to transfer the money could vary from scammer to scammer).
The mail states that the sender is looking for an honest person who will help him – and of course, the helper will be amply rewarded with a tidy percentage of the millions!
The mail also encourages the victim to send their personal details and address to the sender so that they can stay in touch in ways other than email.
Now if the receiver is gullible enough to fall for the scam he is soon milked for cash stating various expenditures such as transfer fees, bank processing charges and ‘Godknowswhatelse’.
Usually—thinking of the huge amounts of the money they’ll see on completion—victims keep on making payments till they realise that they’ve been had.
Of course the finer details vary from scam to scam and a lot depends on how brilliantly intelligent the scammer is – or how phenomenally stupid his victim turns out to be (If you ask me, I suggest you put your money on phenomenally stupid victims).
Consider a few of these specimens: Back in 2003—in one of the earliest cases that came to light—Dipesh Patel (name changed to protect the stupid) from Kolkata received an email from a certain Ben Keme, asking him for help to transfer $7.5 million.
Keme said that he was the director of the accounting section of the Continental Bank of the Benin Republic, and that the account from which the money was to be transferred belonged to a November 1999 plane crash victim. Keme promised Patel around $3 million for the help.
As the scam went on, Keme increased Dipesh’s share to $3.3 million.
Now, I don’t know what was greater, Patel’s greed for the money or his innate stupidity, but before all was over, he had lost close to Rs 17,000; including the cost of a mobile phone that he sent to the scammer.
Another one to join the ranks of fools was Rajkot resident, Deepak Bahel (name changed).
This grain merchant received a mail from the 419ers who wanted his help to transfer $18.50 million from out of Nigeria. Bahel believed the email and kept in touch with the scammers. He was soon informed that the money had arrived in Mumbai, but was now stuck with clearing authorities. A payment amounting to Rs.5.5 lakhs had to be made.
Bahel, in his greed, promptly arranged for the money and was soon greeted by the scammers Daniel Uche Eze and Harrison Edward who came bearing a trunk, which contained black paper bundles.
The duo then used certain chemicals on the bundles and magically turned them into US dollars. They then asked Bahel for another Rs 25 lakhs to buy the magic chemicals. This, it seems, was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Bahel could take no more! The police were called and the scammers were caught. Sadly for Bahel though, his 5.50 lakhs was nowhere to be seen.
Now you’re probably thinking that if the scammers get arrested using this, it’s probably not such a good idea.
“Rubbish,” I say. The art is in knowing when to stop. Of course there is no hard and fast rule as to how your victims may react, so please use a bit of personal discretion.
And coming back to the point, these stories are really here to illustrate that there are loads and loads of people who are sitting in front of their computers just waiting for you to take advantage of them.
But before you get all gung ho, consider these few rules of Nigerian scamming: All scams are characterised by a sense of urgency ‘money has got to be transferred and it’s got to be transferred now’. Always make use of as many forged official-looking documents as is possible. And yes, always make sure that you tell your victims that your transactions are to be kept secret.
Go forth now and scam, but not before you get it into your head ‘I only provide the ideas; I’m not responsible for your goof ups. And no, I’m definitely not going to be visiting you in the slammer.’
(To be continued...)
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